Sick and Tired
by miniprocrastinator
Summary: Remember Hannah's eating disorder? Remember the pain? What if it wasn't Hannah, what if it was Aria? Would she have had the strength to stop or would she take it to far? What if she couldn't stop?
1. Chapter 1

~1 year earlier~

I finished off the large bowl of ice cream and tried to convince myself not to have anymore, but there is no use in trying to stop my self.I always give in. Before I could grab a spoon I heard a knock at the door._Shoot!_ I thought to myself. Before I could throw the large tub of chocolate ice cream in to the trash Alison walked in to the room. Soon after she walked in to the room her perky Alison smile dropped as she saw me set down the ice cream and drop my head in shame. She slowly walked over to me with me face buried in my hands. I heard her heels click against the floor as she walked over. "I know how to help" she quietly said as she rubbed my arm. I slowly looked up to see Alison giving a sympathetic look, _you don't see that very often. _"Let me show you Aria, let me show you how to get rid of it". I followed her up my stairs in to my bathroom.

"Throw up" She blurted out

"WHAT?!" I asked very surprised

"you heard me, vomit"

"B-but-"

"Do you want to be skinny or not? Pretty girls aren't fat"

she motioned for me to stick my finger down my throat

I looked down at my large stomach that nearly bulged out of my shirt then kneeled down in front of the toilet.

"go on,get skinny Aria,don't you want to be pretty?"

I looked at my two finger i had held out and let out a small sigh

I took the two fingers and shoved them down my throat

I quickly grabbed the sides of the toilet and i threw my face in to it

Alison walked behind he and held my hair

my knuckles turned white and my face turned pale as i vomited in to the toilet

I felt my stomach flip upside down as i started to get sick, it was a horrible feeling but in a way a feeling of relief.

2 bowls of ice cream in addition to all the other crap I had eaten came out of me

I felt my empty stomach turn and I spit to try and get rid of the awful taste in my mouth

I slowly picked my pale face out of the toilet and looked up at Alison.

There was the Alison smile.

"Good" she smirked

"weren't we supposed to meet Spencer and Emily at the coffee house" I used as a distraction from what just happened

"K"Alison replied as if the past 3 minutes meant nothing

She walked downstairs as I slowly stood up, flushed the toilet, sprayed airfreshener and used mouth wash.

"Could you go any slower?" i heard Alison yell from downstairs

"just a sec" I replied

I stepped on the cold scale in the bathroom, anxious about the results

I looked down to find I had lost half a not very much but for the first time in years i had lost weight, instead of gaining. for the first time i felt relieved and free and pretty and….happy.I was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: sorry about the spelling errors in the last chapter, my keyboard is kinda messed up, in the future i will try to proof read better. Keep reviewing please!**

**~1 year later~**

Aria's POV

Its been a year since Ali showed me how to throw up and Ive lost about 75 pounds from it..of course to lose that much I also had to starve myself, but it was worth it. Now at least I'm almost as pretty as my friends. I wish Ali had lived to see the weight I lost, she would have been proud. I think I might finally be done, maybe I can finally just…eat.

I got up to go downstairs, to greet my family for breakfast, just because I couldn't enjoy the food like they could doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy the family time.

"JUST GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" i heard my mom scream

"NO, THIS IS MY HOUSE, YOU GET OUT YOU BITCH" my dad replied with anger

_ .bitch. _ I had never heard my dad talk like that. The word just kept replaying in my head. _ .bitch. _I stopped walking down the stairs so I could listen to the idea.

"I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS ANYMORE, WE NEED A DIVORCE"

A divorce? my parents were getting a divorce? we had always been the happy ones, apart from the fact that my dad cheated once. By this time I was struggling to hold back tears.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE I WILL LEAVE! my dad screamed as he head towards the door

"GOOD! FUCK YOU,DROP DEAD AND GO TO HELL BYRON. GO TO HELL!"

I heard the door slam and my mom let out a large sigh of relief.

I slowly walked down the stairs to walk in to the kitchen.

I was ice cold and was shivering.

i slowly started in to the room and immediately my mom noticed me and the tears starting to fill up in my eyes.

"Aria I-"

I cut her off by running up to her and hugging her

I cried in to her shoulder as she rubbed my back.

"honey I'm so sorry" she muttered

After about a minute of that I pulled away from the hug

"can I stay home from school today?" I asked

"of course,sweetie"

I dragged my feet as i walked back up the stairs, into my bedroom and flopped on to my bed

I laid there for at least 3 hours. I took the time to take everything in.

_my parents are getting divorced. DIVORCED. I will have to live with one of them. My parents hate each other. and its all my fault. My fault._

If they never found out about Ezra this wouldn't off happened. I ruin everything.

I eventually got up so I could change in to some sweats.

I took off my shirt and pants, leaving me i just my underwear and bra. I passed by the full body mirror i had in my room before i changed, and something caught my eye.

I stopped to look in the mirror and stood in front of it for what seemed like hours but was only a couple seconds.

I looked fat. Even though i lost the weight, i will still fat. How did I not notice this?I was looking fatter than usual, I must have let myself go. I looked down at my bulging stomach, it looked almost like it did a year ago. I knew what I had to do.

I walked in to my cold bathroom to do what I had done for the past year.I have regretted every time I threw up, and felt ashamed of it, but it was worth it, it made me beautiful.

I kneeled down next to the toilet and put my hair up. I let out a large sigh and held out my two fingers. I shoved them down my throat and after gagging a few times I threw up all he food in my body in to the toilet.

I sat there on the ground for a few minutes thinking about what I had just done. then I heard footsteps coming towards the room. _Crap!_

My mom walked in the room, to find me kneeling in front of a toilet before I had the chance to flush it. I was as pale as a ghost and was sweating.

"Honey, are you ok!?" she asking very concerned

"yeah mom" I replied "its probably just a stomach bug"

"or maybe from that horrible sushi, your father made last night." she added

She helped me up and took me back in to my room. Then she covered me with a blanket just like she did when I was a little girl.

"My poor baby"

"Mom I'm sixteen, i think I can take care of myself"

She kissed me on the forehead " Aw but you're my pookie bear." she said sarcastically

"very funny mom, can I please just get some rest"

"Of course, sweetie"

She walked out of the room.

I hate lying to my mom, but what was I supposed to do? Tell her I've been Bulimic for the past year? I don't think so

Bulimic. I never really thought of the word. I always just thought of myself as the girl who got skinnier the bad way. I then stopped myself from thinking about it anymore and drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Thanks for the reviews guys keep it up! I just wanted to clarify one thing, i recently found out(after starting the story) Lucy Hale did have an eating disorder a little while bad, but she has gotten over it now. I do not have the intention of offending Lucy Hale or anyone with an eating disorder. I know how it feels to be extremely self conscious about your weight(fortunately I did not develop an eating disorder). If I ever offend anyone please let me know, I know an eating disorder is an actual disease and not an attempt to get attention. **

**As for the story goes I just wanted to add:Aria did not gain the weight until about age 13/14, (ill let you know if i change it) So as young kids they were skinny little girls.I often tend to make a lot of spelling mistakes because i never want to proofread, so let me know if you don't understand something.I do not own pretty little let me know if you found the Jenna Marbles quote :D**

I was suddenly awoken from my nap by the loud sound of my ringtone.I gotta put my phone on silent next time

I sat up as I let out a large sigh, suddenly realizing today was real and not a nightmare.

I flopped back on to my back and picked up my phone.

"Why weren't you at school today? Can we come over?" I read the text message from Hannah.

Wa school over already? I looked at the clock. 2:30? I slept for another 3 hours? I wish I could have just slept through the week.

"I didn't feel well. I guess you can, but I warn you I look like a bag of smashed assholes" I texted back

The text was true. I could have just ignored the world, but I wanted to act as normal as possible. I didn't want my friends knowing about the buli-…the throwing up and I didn't want to tell them about my parents divorce yet,I knew I would get showered with sympathy,which I hate.

":( Aw Im sure you look much prettier then a bag of smashed assholes Ar, me and the girls will be over in a few minutes."

i got under the covers as if I really was sick, i mean I did feel sick, but I wasn't sick. I realized I hadn't eaten since last night when I had dinner, I thought about getting a snack but decided not to, if I wanted to be pretty I had to restrict myself and the girls would probably want to go eat somewhere, so I couldn't eat anything now.

I put my hands over my stomach under the covers as it growled. I felt emptiness but it was a good kind of emptiness, it was comforting and reassuring. It was a reminder that I was getting prettier, which was nice.

not long after that my three beautiful, healthy best friends came in to the room. I wish I looked like them. I analyzed each one as they walked in the room.

Emily was beautiful. She had great hair with lots of volume. She could dress like hannah with fancy clothes but she didn't,she wasn't afraid to grab a t-shirt every now and then or a polo shirt and she would still look amazing. And swimming gave her a great body.

Spencer was amazing. She was tall and skinny, and she worked for it. She was always out and about going on a run, or playing tennis, she worked for that body and she deserved it. Unlike me who cheated, and is still fat. she was also smart, she was just best at everything that she wanted to be best at.

Hannah was absolutely stunning. She had beautiful long blonde hair with natural streaks. She looked stunning 24/7 because that was her main focus, to be stunning. She wasn't the smartest girl but she made p for it with her looks. She had expensive clothes, beautiful eyes, the best make up and the cutest accessories. Hannah has never played a sport in her life yet, she has managed to stay skinny also, and she didn't throw up or starve herself, she was just naturally beautiful.

"Aria?" I heard Spencer's voice in the background

I snapped back in to reality "Oh sorry"

"How are you feeling" they asked as if I was a lost puppy

"Okay I guess" I responded with no emotion in my voice

" Awww, pookie bear" she responded trying to hold back laughter

"did my mom tell you?"I asked with as much enthusiasm as I could, but I still sounded sad.

Her smirk dropped and turned into once again a face of sympathy.

"whats wrong?"

I took in a breath quickly and cleared my throat. I put on a fake smile and replied "nothing Im just tired"

The girls made themselves comfortable as they sat on my bed with me. We could barley fit on my tiny bed but we managed. I laid down with my pounding head on spencer lap to use as a pillow as hannah fiddled with my hair and Emily sat next to spencer.

"You're hair feels kinda thinner" Hannah said as she down at me with a confused face

"It must just just be from being sick" I said feeling guilty

Spencer put her hand over my forehead.

"you don't feel warm"

I simply just shrugged

Apparently over the last few sentences i lost my smile, and the happy tone in my voice and it went back to being sad and they cold see right through me.

"Aria, whats wrong?" She asked more firmly this time

"I told yo I'm just ti-"

She cut me off " your obviously upset about something you were like this when Alison died, when they found her body ,when you saw your dad cheat, when you found out about maggie, and when Ezra tried to shut you out. Bottom line is your depressed about something"

"Can we go somewhere I haven't been out of the house all day?" I said eagerly trying to change the subject

She stared at me with an unconvinced look

"ooh how about the park, I haven't been there in ages!" I said again attempting to change the subject

"Can we talk at the park then?" she asked with a determined look in her eye

I knew Spencer and she never stopped until she got way she wanted. I knew we would have to talk in my room, and my mom would barge in at just the wrong time or we could go to the old park that nobody ever goes to anymore.

"Fine" I said letting out a sigh

I sat up and got out of bed, without bothering to change out of my sweats

we walked out the too as I dragged my feet, knowing the sympathy shower that was about to start.

My mom didn't even notice we were leaving, she was to busy getting rid of all my dads stuff. Im lucky my friends didn't notice

The first hake of the walk to the park was very quiet. I had to think about what i was gonna say. There was no way they would hear about the eating dis-…..the getting skinnier, but i guess I would have to tell them about my parents divorce.

I could tell one of them was bound to break the science any moment, which scared me, so jumped in

"so what did I miss at school"?

"I wouldn't know, it's hard to concentrate when your sleeping" Hanna said jokingly

I couldn't help but smile at the joke.

"So, have you seen Caleb at all lately?" I asked trying to keep their mind off what I was being forced to talk about at the park

She smiled and and nodded starting to daydream about him

"Han?" Spencer asked snapping her fingers in Hanna's face

"Oh sorry"

Before anything else was said they saw the old park they used to go to when they were kids

"Awww remember all the memories guys" Emily gushed

"We have such great memories from here" Spencer added

"We also had some bad memories" I reminded them

"Like what?" Hanna asked

"Remember when Ali made me brake my arm?" I reminded her

~Flashback~

8 years ago( age:8)

The five girls ran around the playground together in their adorable outfits

Aria sat in the grass picking flowers as Hanna braided Aria's hair

Spencer was doing pull ups to get strong for sports

Ali was showing off to Emily the new flips she learned in the expensive gymnastics class the girls took together, but Ali was always the best at it and a higher level, which irritated Spencer.

Ali got up to go over on the swings

"Hey, guys watch this" She said right before doing a backflip off the swing

"Thats really cool, Ali" Emily said as she admired the skill

"Can you do that Aria?" Ali smirked

Aria shrugged with her arms crossed "I don't know" she muttered

"Are you too scared?" Ali asked mockingly

"C'mon Ali just leave her alone" Spencer tried to defend Aria

Ali ignored her like always "Don't be a scardy cat, Aria."

"Im not scared" Aria protested

Aria walked over and sat on the swing nervously

"Aria, you don't have to do this." Spencer pleaded

"Do it Aria, if you're not scared!" Ali mocked

Aria sighed and started swinging and pumping her legs to get height

"I bet you can't do it as high as me!" Alison teased

Aria started pumping her legs as much as she could and getting as high as she could.

Hannah,Spencer and Emily walked a few feet away in fright

Aria suddenly realized how high she was

"Do I have to do this?" She cried out

"I knew you wouldn't do it" Ali said starting to walk away

"No, Ali wait, ill do it!"

Aria bit her bottom lip in fear and started breathing heavily

Spencer,Hanna and Emily All had their hands covered over their eyes, they couldn't bare to watch.

They quickly removed their hands when they heard a high pitched scream as they saw Aria fly out of the swing, up in the air and immediately fall down to the ground.

They came running over to her laying on the ground

"Are you ok?" Emily frantically asked

Aria rolled on to her back holding her arm "No,my arm!"

Emily, Hanna and Spencer went over to help her but before they did Ali was already by her side

"Aw poor Aria, lets take you home." Alison comforted

Aria smiles and began to walk home with Ali, leaving the others behind

~End of flashback~

"Yeah, and Ali was a real show off" complained Spencer

"I guess being a bitch was a talent she was born with" Hanna smirked which caused them all to laugh

Finally we reached the bench where we used to gossip all the time.

I looked up to find all three of my friends staring at me intently.

'Spill it Aria" Spencer demanded

"I don't know what you're talking about" I denied

"C'mon Aria, just tell us why you've been so upset

I sighed. I just kind of hope maybe they would forget? They're great friends but i wish I could just keep some things to my self.

I looked down at the ground because I knew if I looked in their eyes I would immediately start crying.

I fiddled with my finger nails

"well.."I started "My parents, are getting…" I took a deep breath in trying not to cry

"they'e getting a divorce"

there I said it. it came out of my mouth like it was nothing. It was a HUGE deal, yet there it was out in the air. A minute ago it was a secret and now they know.

I could tell they had sympathetic look, but I didn't dare look up.

I felt one of them rub my arm. "Are you ok?" I heard Spencer say

I bit my bottom lip and blinked my eyes tightly to avoid tears and nodded my head slightly

"you sure?"

That caused me to make the mistake of looking up. I immediately saw 3 sets of sympathetic eyes staring at me

Tears started to fall from my eyes as I shook my head no.

I started crying harder and wrapped my arm around one of my my friends. I don't know which one, but I didn't care. I buried my head in to her shoulder getting her sleeve wet

It eventually turned in to a group hug. As nice as it was to be comforted by my friends I just wanted to be alone...

**woohoo a long chapter! sorry i usually post such short review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN/ I haven't updated in forever. i had a bad case of writers block, but I'm happy to say I'm over the hump!i just can't seem to sep with these horrible spelling they irritate me so much!. oh well ill try harder next time. sorry there hasn't been any ezria yet, but there will.**

Arias POV

I decided to stay home again today. I could really use a little alone there is one person I would like to be . He just makes me feel so good when I'm upset,he even tells me I'm skinny,it's so sweet how he would lie for me.

I haven't seen my dad since the fight and frankly I don't really want too. I kind of just wish both my parent could just disappear for a little at least get back together.

"ARIA!BREAKFAST!" my mom called out. since when did she make breakfast?It will probably just be some burnt toast, at least that will give me an excuse not to eat it.

I walked downstairs to find a tall pile of chocolate chip waffles drowned in maple .my favorite.

I uneasily walked over and sat down at the table next to mike who was practically diving in to his pancakes.

"you know mom I'm really not that hungry" i said blankly.

She got a confused look on her face "do you feel okay sweetie?"

as easy as it would be to say no, i knew since she saw me throw up last night she might take me to the doctors..and all they would tell me to do is eat…they just want me to be fat.

"yeah I feel much better." I replied hoping she would just forget about didn't.

"Its your favorite aria! don't be scared i got it from ihop, don't worry i didnt make them" she said rolling her eyes

There was a little voice that popped in to my head. it was a familiar voice, i am forced to listen to the voice often. it reminds me not to eat. it reminds me of how much i want to be was weird,almost as i the voice was it wasn't.

_eat it and you will be would you just give up like that?_

suddenly I heard Alison's voice echo in my head.

_don't you want to be pretty?_ I heard her say

but when i snapped back in to reality ella was staring at me and the large stack of pancakes in from of me.

i took in a deep breath and took a bite of the pancakes. the taste was amazing but i still felt like poison.I took a few more convincing bites and claimed i was full.

I came upstairs and plopped on my bed. Maybe i could call ezra and i could come over. there is nothing I would rather see right now that his face

then my catchy ringtone went off indicating i had a text. I opened it up to find it wasn't ezra or one of the girls

_i thought you wanted to be pretty?-A_

I walked past my bathroom but couldn't help but let the scale catch my attention.

_go see how much of a fat pig you've become._

I stepped on the scale.I gained.I knew I should have came up with a better excuse. That pancake probably had at least 400 calories.

I know I shouldn't.I have to.

_go pretty aria._ Ali's voice echoed in my head.

I peaked my head out my door.I wasn't letting mom catch me this time before i went back tot he bathroom i walked past my full body .

You could see my thighs jiggle and my stomach made me look like I was pregnant.

I can't let ezra see me like this. he would probably go run off and be with maggie or jackie.

i stomped in to my bathroom and kneeled down next to the toilet.I took my two fingers and jammed them to the back of my throat.

i gagged for a second and quickly all the chocolate chip pancakes spilled out. I did it a second time for safe measures but all it was was a dry heave.

i washed my mouth out and skipped happily out of the I'm empty.i picked p the phone to call ezra then stopped.I took another look in the chubby.

i threw my phone on my bed got on the floor and 100 crunches. My abs were really soar but i had to keep going. I went out for a run. fist ten twenty. eventually it turned in to 40 minutes, I wanted to keep going but I just couldn't.

My run turned in to a jog as i went by all the neighbors my vision started to get blurry . i kneeled down for a second until my vision came back.I couldn't stop though, i trudged back to my house and plopped on my bed wishing I made it to an hour.

I stepped on the scale.I had lost two whole pounds. I smiled. Ever since Ali showed me how to throw up and get skinny every time i lose even a little weight i get an amazing feeling inside made me feel i need to lose more.

I called Ezra but he didn't pick up so I thought maybe the girls would wan a hang out

"Hello?Aria?"Spencer asked over the phone

"Hey spence wanna hang out?"I asked excited to show off my prettier body

"I was just talking with Hanna and emily,wanna sleep over?"

"sure"

"you bring the snacks ill get the movies?" spencer asked giddy about the sleepover,even though they sleep over at each others houses pretty much every weekend

"actually spence how about i bring the movies you bring the snacks?"

So i didn't have any snacks around,Ella just ate at a coffee shop and mike usually just ate a bunch of crap from the vending machines at school, and i didn't want anything holding me back from getting pretty so I had no snacks.

"but you always bring the snacks aria"

"umm well my dad used to buy the snacks"

so it was a lie.I always bought the snacks, but i needed to get her off my back

"oh right. sorry,ill bring the snacks." she said feeling guilty.

"thanks" i said letting out a sigh of relief.

we hung up and i packed up the usual stuff i do for the sleepovers.

Once i got to spencers hunormous house I greeted her mm and walked up to her room finding spencer,emily and Hanna laying on her queen sized bed together.

"hey Ar"Hannah called out

"what movies do you guys wanna watch?" Spencer asked

Hanna almost instantly replied "The notebook!"

We tried to argue that we watch that every week but eventually we just gave in and watched the sappy movie.

for snacks spencer got ice cream,cheetos,popcorn and ugliness in a bowl.

They all huddled under their blanket together. they let aria be in the middle this time knowing how sad he's been about her parents.

"don't you want any ice cream aria? I got chunky monkey you favorite!" Spencer said hopefully

wow don't people know just because its someones favorite food doesn't mean they should eat it.

"thats okay I'm not really hungry" I replied trying to get them to turn their attention back to the notebook

"What do you mean,your stomach has been growling all day" emily stated

"you guys know i haven't been feeling well.I just have a headache".

technically it was true.I did have a pounding headache.

"aria your looking kinda pale,maybe for sicker than you think." emily suggested

"And you look really tired, maybe we should just go to bed,i bet you will feel better in the morning." Spencer said pushing my hair out of my face.

I would have fought but I didn't really mind missing out on watching the notebook for the millionth time plus I honestly didn't really have the energy.

We turned out the lights and got in to bed. They all passed out within the first 20 minutes but despite the fact of how tired I was there was one thing that wouldn't leave my mind. the scale in spencers bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n:Hey guys sorry for the late update. My keyboard has been getting all glitchy lately,so there has been more and more spelling mistakes.A few of the sentences in the last chapter didn't even make about that,I may start writing these on my phone if the problem doesn't go the next chapter:).**

The scale mocked me. _C'mon Aria just go see,unless your scared. _The voice told me.

I couldn't hold out any longer,I carefully removed the blanket from my body and cautiously climbed over spencer and Emily trying not to wake them.

Finally I made it across the room to Spencer's bathroom. It was painted an eggshell white and looked like it was meant for a mansion._Sorry I have to put my disgusting body in your beautiful bathroom,spencer. _I thought to myself.

I stepped on the clear glass scale and squeezed my eyes shut ,with the help of the little voice in my head,I worked up the courage to look down at the a pound?I GAINED half a pound?How on earth did I gain weight?_Of course you gained weight Aria,you're a failure._The voice told me. I didn't get rid of breakfast completely?And I did have that one little handful of popcorn to get the girls off my back.

_Why don't you have any willpower?Why aren't you pretty like all your friends?You don't even deserve to hang out with them._I knew what i had to do next.

I stepped off the scale,nearly tripping.I have been getting dizzier lately,but it's a small price to pay to get pretty.

I bent down in front of the toilet,wrapping my fat hand arounds the edges of the toilet.

I tried to talk myself out of it for a second,but every time I tried the alison-like voice insulted me,but it was probably for the better.

In one quick motion I took two fingers and jabbed them down my throat, hitting my gag reflex.

I mostly came out as a dry heave,but I feel better.

I got extremely light headed for a second and dropped down to my knees,but I quickly regained my balance.

I leaned over the toilet breathing heavily,lately i've had trouble catching my breath.

I leaned over again and dry heaved without having to stick my fingers down my it happened without me even trying,but it's probably for the better, i bet i look so fat right now.

"Aria?" I heard spencers tired voice behind me

_oh crap_ i thought. I didn't want her to see my like this! I don't want her to suspect anything.I can;t afford to have anything in my way of getting pretty.

She rushed to my side as i plopped down on to my butt keeping my arms rested on the edge of the toilet.

"are you okay?" she asked kneeling down next to felt my forehead "you don't really feel hot,actually your really cold Aria."

I shrugged her off.

"I'm fine,Spence.I probably just ate something bad."

"is she okay?" I looked up to see Emily a standing there with hannah right behind her.

"Yes,I'm fine." I said slightly, couldn't they just mind their own business?

They came and knelt down beside us

"Aria your not fine,how could something of upset your stomach?All you had was a tiny handful of popcorn,I practically ate the whole bowl and I feel fine!" Spencer demanded

right as I was about to answer Hannah cut in.

"were you on the scale?" She said looking down at the clear glass scale.

"What?No!" I answered a little to fast….and a little to defensive

"Then who's foot prints are these?" Emily asked hastily

"I don't know! probably Spencers,it's her bathroom!" I replied again defensively

"Aria,my feet aren't that size. you're the only one with little size six feet"

They all stared at me waiting for an answer.I couldn't do anything except shrug

"I'm just a little sick,thats all" I said with my arms wrapped around my stomach

I leaned over in to the toilet and started dry heaving it wasn't even on purpose,my body just…did it.

Spencer put up my hair and emily rubbed my back as I continued to throw up.

out of the corner of my eye I noticed them all exchange a glance like they were worried.

after I finished I wiped my mouth and flushed the all sat down next to me,they had a look of sympathy,confusion and worry.

"I'm fine." I said staring down at the ground. "okay?I just have a bug or something" I lied

"okay" Spence said sighing,looking unconvinced."your probably tired,let's just go back to bed" she said, helping me up.

Relieved i slumped back in to spencer's bed along with the other 3.

_don't you dare tell will ruin you._ the voice told me.

a part of me wanted to tell them,about everything. I couldn't,they would try to make me stop

don't they understand I'm just fine! Everything I'm doing is for the better,they would just make me fat

they're getting suspicious. what do they have to be suspicious about?I'm absolutely 100% fine.I'm just making myself..better.

I'm fine.


	6. Chapter 6

Aria's POV

I Awoke in Spencers large queen sized bed,squished between Spencer and Emily. Maybe if I lost more weight I would't take up as much space

I felt a familiar feeling of emptiness,at first it was tough but now it feels kind of..comforting. It's like a little reminder I'm losing weight. Unfortunatley I also woke up with a headache which I have been getting more often, but it's probably just a phase.

I was the first one up, which was weird because usually I was the last.I shook Spencer awake

"Spence, it's almost noon" She drowsily raised her head then collapsed back on to the pillow.

I rolled my eyes and pulled her arms to a sitting position.

"are Em and Hannah awake?" She asked rubbing her eyes

I threw a pillow at Hannah and elbowed Emily. they slowly woke up, still groggy as if it was 6 AM.

"Why are you guys so tired?You guys are usually up at least an hour before me" I asked

"We were up kind of late last night" Emily admitted

"doing what?" I thought we had all just gone back asleep

"Before anyone says anything else can we go make some coffee?Before coffee I can hardly carry on a conversation" Spencer said yawning.

She led us downstairs to her kitchen even though we very well know where it brewed a pot of coffee,which all of us except for me drank.

"don't you want some Aria?" Hannah looked expectantly at me "you usually drink almost as much as spencer,which is a lot.

"uh,I've been trying to cut down on caffeine" I lied. by caffeine i meant calories

They all exchanged the same glance they did last night in the bathroom.I decided to change the subject

"So why are you guys all so tired?" You guys are usually the one having to drag me out of bed.

"Well we were up late last night talking" Emily repeated

"Why?" I was pretty sure we already went over this

"why were you talking with out me?"

"It was about you" Hannah admitted. as soon as she said this I knew what this conversation was going to be about and I didn't like it.

"Guys don't do this" I grinded my teeth together

"Aria, you've just lost so much weight!" Spencer pleaded

"we're just really worried" Emily grabbed my wrist which i quickly tugged away

" guys stop it" I bit my tounge to keep from crying

"we just want to help you!" hannah gave a look that just screamed pity.

"No you guys don't want to _"help" _me you want to _control _me!" I clenched fist.

"Aria we just don't-" I cut Spencer off

"You know how little I can control in my life? Do you think I _wanted_ to fall in love with my teacher?Did I chose to be harassed by some crazy stalker that probably killed our best friend?NO. And I most certainly did not want my parents to hate each other and get a divorce but you know what?THAT HAPPENED TO!"

"Aria, please calm down" Emily eyes started to water

"You know what?Im not gonna "calm down", because you know what i can control in my life? my weight, and that is one thing I am not letting someone else take control of" I stopped fighting the tears,but ignored them and pretended they weren't rolling down my face

"Aria-" I again cut Hannah off

"Im sorry but I am really not in the mood for this right now" And with that I turned around on my heel and headed towards the door not bothering to grab my stuff.

A faint feeling came over me but ignored it and kept walking. i could feel there eyes burning in the back of my head. Another wave of dizziness came over me and I grabbed the counter for support.

"Aria?" I heard Hannah

Before I could say or do anything, my knees buckled under me,things went dark and I felt my head hit something very hard.

Then suddenly everything just went silent.

**A/N: Hey guys sorry for the long wait. Im not really sure if anyone reads this story for the sake of the story leave a 5 second review! I think I'm going to end this story in a few chapters,besides all the horrible spelling mistakes(I don't even know why,I think my somethings wrong with my computer) I really like how this story came out and Im excited to move on to something else.**


	7. Authors note

Hey guys. I'm really sorry I haven't updated in months but I think I am going to delete this story :(

BUT I am likely going to re do it from the beginning. The reason for this is because in my story there are many, many typos and I FINALLY figured out why. I hadn't been putting spaces after my periods and that caused words and sentences to get smushed together and it wouldn't make sense. Also this is one of my first stories and back when i started this I wasn't familiar with this website and my writing just sucked to be honest. But please let me know if you guys want me re do this story or just get rid of it all together. Thanks


End file.
